In my first article I talked about my secret love story with the powerhouse value, courage.
Seeing as this is a newsletter about courage, I thought it would be a good idea to share with you my realisation about the dynamics between courage and confidence.
I came up with my simple and easy formula a couple of years ago.
Small Acts of Courage = Build Confidence.
Notice, that small acts of courage doesn’t equal to confidence, it builds confidence.
Confidence is not an absolute and it’s not a tangible outcome. It’s a feeling. And, like a lot of feelings it needs cultivation, nurturing and practice. It’s unfathomable to wake up one day and feel happy or fulfilled – it needs ingredients, time, and permission. These inputs chemically work up some magic to support you to feel happy or fulfilled – and the same applies with confidence (or any other feeling for that matter).
I admit – I got it wrong.
I thought confidence was the driver for change.
It’s not the driver, but the cheerleader. Like a loved one on the sidelines shouting words of encouragement, “You can do this! You’ve done it before; you can do it again!”
The more I have studied and researched; I have come to realise that confidence is not the empowering value driving leaders. It can’t be if we look at the statistics of Imposter Syndrome – the lack-of-self-confidence-phenomenon. It’s the temporary psychological condition where you feel a continual anxiety and stress from a learned story of failure, or you have an inability to reward and experience success within self; despite in reality being an objectively high-performing individual.
Studies in the US and Europe align to these statistics:
- 45% of men experience it at some point in their life compared with 71% of women.
- 85% of employees with 3 years + of expertise and experience – suffer from imposter syndrome.
- 75% of female executives are experiencing it right now.
So, what’s going on when it comes to dealing with uncertainty and the unknown to implement change? How do leaders ‘do it’?!
By pulling on courage AND previous experiences, or precedence, which gives you a feeling of confidence about going through with a decision or action. In some cases, there might not be a precedence to bounce from – but you still go through with it, not knowing what the outcome will be.
And that’s how I came to realise that courage is an input of confidence. (And known as assurance, especially in decision-making – that’s for another article…)
The more we practice courage, one small act at a time, the more we build our confidence in that area of our life. Unfortunately, our brain isn’t sophisticated enough to reward us with all-encompassing-confidence. We have to flex this courage muscle in dynamic spheres and in different ways to feel widespread or holistic confidence… and even then, that sounds like a challenge.
So, here’s my invitation to you to try it out. Try practicing the smallest act of courage in an area you’re not feeling so confident in. Just focus on one act.
Then try another small act.
And another.
And another…
Over time, notice the change YOU have facilitated, building your equation with multiple inputs, or ingredients of courage.
And notice if you feel even just that notch bit more confident then next time you need to practice.
My mission in sharing this insight about the focus on courage, and not confidence, is that we have become a society of people who question themselves, who have self-doubt or are missing confidence somewhere in our lives.
And I’m here to say, it’s OK. It’s OK to feel a lack of confidence, because in reality, change starts and ends with courage. Courage is the commonality between all humans and irrespective of our heritage our childhood, our education, job title, present challenges or opportunities – we all hold the power of courage within us. And it’s there for you, whenever you’re ready to use it.
