It’s normal.
You’re not alone.
It makes you more understanding of others.
You can empower yourself by learning.
It’s OK to talk about it.
No one is perfect.
We all have our ups and downs about how we feel about ourselves.
Which one of these resonates for you?
Which one of these do you really need to hear right now?
There are seven statements above that show you, we are all in this together. How does that make you feel? Knowing that you’re not the only one, and most likely you’re surrounded by people who are experiencing the same ups and downs as you.
And just like a good stock curve, even though there’s up and downs, you’re going up if you’re courageous enough to foster a growth-mindset when it comes to tackling your self-confidence.
I never thought stocks and self-confidence could go in the same sentence, however, I hope you take away how important it is for us to realise that our self-confidence is not an outcome, it’s a feeling. And like other feelings (and stocks)– there can be times of an abundance and other times when it’s in scarcity.
And this is what we are all feeling, at some point in our lives. The difference between some of us – is that some of us mask it, really well. Too well. You’d never know. And others, where it’s noticeable and might be taken advantage of – by the passive aggressive kind.
What is certainly common between us is that we haven’t found the magic formula or medicinal prescription to bring our self-confidence back to health quickly. But we can rebuild and create pivots.
So, how do you rebuild self-confidence in times of scarcity?
By going back to your success story.
Yes, YOUR success story. Not your team’s, or your manager’s or your colleagues… your experiences.
Because the easiest place to start building self-confidence is by looking inward and teasing out all of your brilliance, your accomplishments, your proudest moments when you have overcome adversity, your strengths that point directly to the evidence – you are doing enough or, you are good enough.
What has struck me in the last few months of talking to more and more people is that no matter who you are or what you do – we are all questioning ourselves. And if you’re not doubting yourself – then you believe you should be using rose-tinted-future-all-eye-seeing-goggles to look into the future and foresee the issues that are about to land on our doorstep.
If we are not battling our self-confidence, I’ve noticed we are battling with anxiety. Anxiety based in a lack of self-confidence. But shouldn’t our self-confidence be based on the present moment, and how we feel about ourselves to get stuff done now?
So, we are now becoming mediums. A desire for the skill to see into the future! Because where we know we can get stuff done, we then start shifting our energy to start questioning ourselves whether we can manage what is about to come!
Who has a magic ball?! (Please re-direct to Barcelona…)
How could anyone predict the future and at the same time, know if they can ‘handle’ it or not. It seems to be that self-confidence is not just a battle of the now, but a battle of the future. Even though we know that we can make the best decision at the time with the information we have in front of us – otherwise known as ‘following your gut feeling’.
And I’m here to share with you that your gut feeling, the subconscious within you, is a better decisionmaker than you plus more time (maybe even days) to assimilate more information to then come up with a decision. It’s a long story, but studies have shown that we make the best decisions on average, when we follow that gut instinct – so keep doing what you’re doing.
Your gut assimilates all your past experience and outcomes. Like a really good risk-calculator.
Where we battle with self-confidence based on the past – this is where we have lost connection to our values because looking back on incidents or interactions and thinking, I wish I had said this, or, I should have done that. It means you’re not behaving in line with your values. And usually there’s an underlying fear that’s holding you back.
So, if self-confidence is shaped by past, present and future what can support us?
What can support you, right now?
Knowing that we are all in this together.
I’m confidently positive that you can look around you and find a role-model of someone in your life that you admire. Someone who seems to say all the right things, show empathy and kindness to people, or stand up for themselves or others, or perhaps just seems to be oozing that invisible self-confident glow. You could ask them how they do it. They’ll tell you, for sure, “I feel it too”.
Because we ARE all battling the same mindset challenges and that’s because we are all humans trying to do the best we can, every day.
So go back to your success story and have courage to tell the inner critic keeping your confidence down, to shove it. Rebuild confidence by looking at your success stories and keep that narrative going by focusing on your learning and growth.
If this resonates with you, pay it forward to a friend or colleague. See which statement above is the one they really needed to hear.
I hope your next courageous act involves a shove, and the one after involves you, a pen and a journal for some well-needed storytelling.
