I’m a cryer. My partner knows it. My mum knows it. My best friends know it.
In fact, I can be watching any type of documentary or fictional series and I’m welling up, lip quivering, I’m gone, sometimes full-on sobs. My partner, Scott, usually turns to me and says, “Are you ok? Aw, you’re crying?”
Yes, I’m crying.
And I’m grateful I’m crying. Don’t need to make a big deal out of it.
OK, I’m not shedding tears for my real-life situation, but what I see and hear evokes emotion because they remind me of something real, or something important to me – even if it’s just a value that resonates with me – I cry.
This is most likely me being overly empathetic. Or just me being attuned to my empathy for others. Probably a good thing for a Coach.
But I’m actually OK with crying.
I welcome it.
I recently watched Blue Zones, Living to a 100, and I found myself really emotional when I looked into the eyes of these incredible centurions who have lived many lives and gone through unimaginable experiences – both good and bad. I cried in awe and admiration, and I cried in empathy for what might have been a lot of pain, and a lot of joy and love. I can’t help it.
And then, there are the situations where I don’t cry for others, I cry for me.
Have you ever noticed that sometimes when someone shows you an act of kindness, or takes time to listen to you – you cry?
Being a Coach, I experience others crying with me, every week, sometimes daily.
And they all have one thing in common – “I’m sorry.”
Don’t be! Let it out.
It’s good for us to cry.
Tears are a signal to us. It shows you care about something – your needs, your wants, your mental health, your physical wellbeing, your family or loved ones.
Buta pattern of what I see is that you’re crying because you’re not prioritising yourself. Or you’re avoiding the real challenge that is the big elephant in your life (it’s bigger than just the room). It’s easy to procrastinate, to avoid, or fill up your mind with other stuff to think about, to be overly working yourself to the ground.
Because addressing the thing that really needs to be addressed is the moment of realisation’, key unlocked, pieces come together – this is what’s truly happening for me.
Tears flow.
When you cry it’s not just you connecting to the signals that your mind is trying to send you – it’s your body seeking the emotional release it so desperately needs to let go of unhelpful tension, stress build-ups.
Toxins, endorphins and cortisol is released through your tears. So, what you believe is just you or someone else being a bit emotional is not the case. It’s a natural and quite necessary detoxification process. Which is why you feel SO good after you’ve cried.
You release pain.
You release pent-up-adrenaline.
You release tension.
You feel relief.
You might even feel lighter.
And this is just the physical benefits.
What about the act of sharing itself? Crying bonds you with people. Crying connects you to strangers (like me on the end of a video call) or reinforces that warm, safe feeling you have with your tribe – new and familiar ones.
You connect with people in these moments where you’re also reconnecting back to yourself.
And what’s great about crying?
It shows you’re human. You’re not perfect. You don’t have it all together. You don’t have it all figured out, and that’s not just OK, it’s welcomed.
I welcome you to not hold it back – cry.
Because if you’re crying it shows that there is something important you need to recognise, see or feel in order to help yourself move forward in a healthy way.
And you know what else is so wonderful about crying – it shows we are all in this together.
